Monthly Archives: July 2012

102 DAYS TO GO: ROMNEY VISITS ISRAEL AS MORE DEMOCRATS SUPPORT HIM

Michael Goldstein is a 48-year old community college administrator from New Jersey.

You will probably hear his story in a television ad soon. The New York Times gave a preview:

“A lifelong Democrat, he said he was planning to support Mr. Romney by casting his first vote for a Republican in a presidential race.”

The piece also goes on to say that Goldstein plans to campaign for Romney in Pennsylvania.

I don’t believe Goldstein will be the only Jewish Democrat supporting Romney.

Outreach to Jewish voters by both campaigns will be heavy for the next 100 days. Democrats typically draw a comfortable majority of their votes, but times have changed thanks to Obama.

There are a substantial amount of Jewish votes up for grabs in swing states.

While Democratic strategists will publicly say there is no cause for alarm, Obama’s treatment of Israeli PM Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu and statements about Israel returning to the 1967 borders contributed to a backlash that already contributed to one Republican victory.

When Democrat Anthony Weiner resigned, his vacant seat in the NY-9 congressional district was won by Republican Bob Turner.

Turner pulled enough Jewish votes to defeat Democrat David Weprin–an Orthodox Jew himself.

Mitt Romney has the ability to reach a diverse range of voters, but it always helps when Obama drives them to you.

This weekend, Romney will be visiting Israel.

Obama did once, when he was a candidate…He hasn’t been back as president, though he’s been to Middle East on several occasions.

That Obama has not been back to Israel could have something to do with his sometimes frosty relationship with Netanyahu.

However, Romney and the current Israeli Prime Minister have a friendship that goes back decades.

Considering the NY-9 result, along with Obama’s habit of alienating voters, and Romney’s relationship with Bibi, it is quite possible that Romney could draw significant Jewish support in November.

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PREVIEW OF OBAMA SPEECH AT CARNEGIE MELLON (SATIRE)

Breaking: My anonymous source of indeterminate reliability and dubious existence has just sent me an advance preview of what Obama will tell the crowd at Carnegie Mellon University today.

“Thank you, thank you…as you can see, I’m a bus tour of 57—excuse me, 2 states this week. And I call this ‘Betting on America.’

Now people ask, what am I betting on Americans to do? Well, mostly, I’m betting on Americans to forget.

(laughter)

No, seriously…let me be clear…the only way I can get reelected is to make Americans forget just about everything I’ve said and done, or not said or done in some situations. I have to really hype up what I call the accomplishments of my first term. You guys know that Michelle and I would both rather be fundraising and campaigning with important people like George Clooney and Sarah Jessica Parker and Gwen Stefani . And you get that. You appreciate elitism. And we appreciate you for that.

I’m happy you came out to hear me today, because I have a message for the students here…thanks to my health care reform, you can stay on your parents insurance a little longer after you get out of college. That’s going to be really important, because you won’t have jobs of your own, thanks to me strangling the economy with my regulatory whims. And because you won’t be able to pay back your student loans without jobs, you’ll pretty much be at my mercy. Which is kind of the point, when you think about it.

(some applause, slight bewilderment)

Recently, I told my loyal celebrity supporters they were the ultimate arbiters of the November election. But now I can tell you that I consider you the penultimate arbiters! On the way out, please buy your official Obama-Biden ‘penultimate arbiter is still a BFD’ shirt. Also, if you haven’t registered to donate your graduation presents and wedding gifts to my campaign, it would be in your best interest to do that also.

(scattered clapping)

It’s okay, you can clap for that.

(slightly more scattered clapping)

From day one, when I did just as Valerie told Tom Brokaw I would, I took power and began to rule, I’ve faced a lot of challenges. Most of it has to do with me blaming everyone else and people not accepting that as readily as I’d like. But I tried to clarify my approach to Pennsylvania four years ago. Remember what I told the folks in San Francisco at a fundraiser in April 2008?

‘You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them…and they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.’

Now, I took some heat for that from Hillary and John for about five minutes. But you know what? I was just talking out of my head. It didn’t mean anything. Nothing I say ever does. If you think I meant any offense with that, look closely at what I said…I said each successive administration after Clinton and Bush. I was the only administration after Bush. So what I said made no sense, and should not be offensive. If you’ve ever been offended by anything I’ve just, just go back to the axiom that nothing I say actually means anything.

Now, on April 30 of this year, I did say ‘I assume that people meant what they said when they said it…That’s been, at least, MY practice.’

But see…that didn’t mean anything either. And that’s my message, not only for you, but all of America…don’t pay any attention to anything I say. You’ll just try to compare it to reality you observe, or something else I said that contradicts whatever I said that upset you, and you’ll get frustrated. No one wants or needs that frustration, do they? So listen to what I say for the smoothing, reassuring tone in my voice. But don’t parse the content. You have networks and newspapers to take what I say and explain why it’s good for you, and to call you nasty names if you push back on what I say.

In closing, I want the students at CMU to know this…there is room for YOU under this bus over here.

If you don’t work hard enough to overcome the mounting obstacles to my reelection, I will see to it that YOU get the blame. You all remember after the 2004 election, how the next morning’s papers blamed the college kids for not showing up, right? Do you want to be the subject of a Bob Rogers cartoon in the Post-Gazette? I didn’t think so. So get out there, and get fired up. You’ve been warned.

Thank you, thank you, and God bless America and such.”